Odin's 1st Birthday

Happy Birthday my little love.

Yup, today is the day my Odin turns 1. Should be a happy day but I can't say I'm too happy about it. These past months have been very difficult for him and I. He's been sick and I feel cheated. Him being sick and trying to find out what was wrong resulting in tens and tens of Dr. appts have really taken away those special Mommy & Baby moments. I never really got to play with him like I would have liked to, take him out on many strolls or throw him in the air as a baby like I did the rest because I feared I would cause even more damage. I feel like he's been more of a lab rat than a baby due to all the dang Dr. visits. I honestly think he's spent more time in the hospital than the outdoors. I really wish I could just turn back time and say " the heck with all the doctors, I'm gonna enjoy my baby." But I can't.

As for today, our day was alright. We didn't do anything too special. He's been irritable all day so our trip to the circus we planned just went out the window. I've tried what I can to make him happy and got some smiles outta him. I really wish that he'd get better and make an attempt to just sit without freaking out that I'm a foot away - the OT is trying to figure that one out because I just can't. If I pull away he cries for dear life and freaks out - even an inch - he's pulling my hair, scratching me, hitting me just trying to get his body close to me again. This is not how I imagined his first birthday, but I am trying to make the best of it.........even now. We'll see how we welcome tomorrow.